Completely Unquantifiable
by mugglecastlover31
Summary: Daniel Faraday wakes up completely overcome by guilt for the deaths he feels like the he caused when the freighter goes up in flames. Charlotte helps him understand that it is not his fault. Charlotte/Daniel overtones.


_A/N: This fic was inspired by Red Bess Rackham's story "Faraday" by the last line. Great fic! Everyone should head over and check it out ;) I don't quite know if this fic is a sequel to my other Daniel fic but I'm going to say it's not. If you want to know how Dan got back to the island however, check out my story "Articulation" because that explains it. This one, though I'm not sure I meant it, has more Charlotte/Daniel overtones. Must be my eternal love for the ship coming out :D Anyways, enjoy and review please! OH and thanks to my beta BlindingPinkObsession._

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Completely Unquantifiable

_Their faces were blurred but he could see that they were relieved and hopeful. They were finally going to leave the godforsaken island. They sat contentedly on the freighter and smiled. Then an explosion. They were all dead. _

Daniel woke up with a start. A cold sweat had broken out on his forehead and his hands were shaking.

"Dan?" a voice whispered from next to him, "are you all right?"

He didn't answer for a moment. He was completely disoriented. The orange flash from the explosion was still burned into his retinas.

Slowly he responded, "Yes Charlotte, I'm – I'm fine."

He had arrived back on the island not but a few hours ago. After the freighter had gone up in flames Daniel had had no choice but to turn the zodiac around. But then the island had disappeared after that mind numbing white light. But Daniel knew enough of the science involved in moving the island to get back to it. So he was able to reach safety on the island once again. Or some semblance of safety. It was better than starving to death in the middle of the ocean.

"Dan…" Charlotte said, sitting up in her sleeping bag.

He turned over. He felt emotionally unstable and he hated her seeing him in that state. He may be absent minded but he had some self respect.

She carefully put a hand on his shoulder.

He closed his eyes. He didn't quite understand the emotion he felt. But it was burning at him like acid. Eating away at him. He had never really felt like this before. It was almost as if he were really sorry and didn't know what to do about it or who to apologize to.

But he realized what he felt as his senses picked up Charlotte's touch. Guilt.

Such a small word; such huge consequences. It was a mounting feeling. Unrelenting.

"Let me help you. Like the memory games…" she pleaded.

As much as he wanted to just lie there with her hand on his shoulder he rolled over and sat up.

Usually his thoughts were traveling a mile a second but right now they stood still and were focused on one thing. The guilt.

"I killed them." He never thought a statement such as that would leave his mouth, but it was the truth. For all his good intentions, he had killed them all.

Charlotte put her hand under his chin and forced him to look straight at her. Her intense eyes were unreadable.

"What are you talking about? You've never hurt anyone in your life Dan," she said in a clipped tone.

He swallowed and fidgeted with his blanket. His mind struggled to break free of such a sinking feeling but the end result was a tear rolling down his face.

"Everyone I took back-"Daniel started, the words now tumbling out, "Everyone I took to the freighter, they - they died. I should not have-"

"There is no possible way-" Charlotte started, sounding angry.

"I knew what the secondary protocol was. I should have known that there was no way all these people would be allowed to leave alive. I'd seen his personality-

"That Keamy was a bastard. You can't pretend any of it was your fault."

"Yes – No, well, I should have known that somehow this wouldn't work. Why didn't I? All those people, Charlotte! What about Sun, she was – she was pregnant. And she had another baby with her. I took her back. Maybe if I had stayed out of the way and not volunteered to take the zodiac back she might still be alive. You know she came and talked to me. She told me she was pregnant. I didn't know what to say. If only- "

"That's enough Daniel."

Charlotte had covered his mouth with her hand. He usually unreadable eyes looked sad. Daniel felt surprised. Charlotte, sad? She always seemed too strong to waste time on real emotion. And he had managed to upset her. What else in this world would he kill?

"Listen to me. There is no way that you could've known what would happen. You tried to help rescue the people taking them off the island. That makes you a hero, not a killer. Don't you dare ever think otherwise. You tried to help Sun, and that's what matters. Her death was at the hands of another, not and never yours."

Daniel pushed away her hand and said, "I should have known. We are living in the future on this island. I could've have solved an equation and estimated what-"

"Daniel!" Charlotte said, raising her voice and sounding exasperated, "Equations can't solve everything. If there is anything that I know, it's that people are unpredictable and behave in completely unquantifiable ways. You can feel differently about a person than you thought you would. You can make a decision you never thought that you would make. Nothing is constant."

His face fell. Numbers, variables: they made sense. He could be certain of outcomes. Nothing else clicked so easily in his mind.

"Equations are all I have Charlotte. I don't even have a proper mind. I forget things…"

He chanced a glance at Charlotte. She looked hurt for a moment but within a second her face had returned to its usual stoic manner.

They looked at each other for a moment.

Daniel started to lie down once more when Charlotte said, "You have me, Dan."

Then she lay down as well.

Dan looked at her back. _You have me, Dan._ She cared. It didn't matter what kind of care it was. It was probably the kind of caring a person feels for a helpless lamb. But Daniel didn't have high hopes. This was all he could ever ask for. At least she cared. Cared for him. _Him_.

"It is _not _your fault," she said firmly as she settled back into her sleeping bag.

Not my fault. Not my fault. He repeated it to himself. The more he thought about it, the more this new mantra made sense. His chest felt lighter already.

He didn't understand how she was able to help so much. Her voice always cleared away his doubts and fears. Like when they had been going to the Tempest and he hadn't been sure he could shut down the station. She told him she knew he could do it. And then he was fine, no fear to cloud his vision.

"_Equations can't solve everything,"_ she had said.

Maybe that _was_ true. He didn't think there was an equation that quantified the way he felt about her anyway.

_Hope you enjoyed! Leave some love in a review! _


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